Forgivng is a Beautiful Thing

Every day we are faced with the challenge of forgiving those around us.  Throughout the day small incidental things occur and we forgive without even thinking about it, and sometimes we have real hurtful things that happen to us, and we have to dig deep to  forgive.

Forgiving others can be challenging thing to do sometimes.  In the New Testament, Matt. 18:21-22 it reads:  Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Jesus isn’t really giving us a number on how many times we should forgive someone, but he his telling us that we must always forgive, because he has forgiven everyone that asked for forgiveness.

In Doctrine and Covenants 64:9-10 it reads:

 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

Pres. Uchtdorf in April 2012 conference said “Forgiving ourselves and others is not easy. In fact, for most of us it requires a major change in our attitude and way of thinking—even a change of heart. But there is good news. This “mighty change” of heart is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is designed to bring into our lives. How is it done? Through the love of God.

When our hearts are filled with the love of God, something good and pure happens to us. We “keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world.”

The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade.

As always, Christ is our exemplar. In His teachings as in His life, He showed us the way. He forgave the wicked, the vulgar, and those who sought to hurt and to do Him harm.

Jesus said it is easy to love those who love us; even the wicked can do that. But Jesus Christ taught a higher law. His words echo through the centuries and are meant for us today. They are meant for all who desire to be His disciples. They are meant for you and me: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

When our hearts are filled with the love of God, we become “kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving [each other], even as God for Christ’s sake [forgave us].”  end quote.

I have had my own opportunities to learn to forgive, when I was in my teens I was molested.  I have had to learn to forgive this person for the hurt that he had caused me.  And has I have forgiven this person the pain has gone away.  It’s been almost 20 years and I hardly think of it.

I have many more examples of forgiving other, but this one incident affected my life in many ways.

I am grateful for my Savior and His infinite atonement that can allow me to forgive others and at the same time heal my pain.

You probably want to know how I could forgive someone of an awful thing, I did as President Uchtdorf said, “This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.”

We must recognize that we are all imperfect—that we are beggars before God. Haven’t we all, at one time or another, meekly approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? Haven’t we wished with all the energy of our souls for mercy—to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed?

Because we all depend on the mercy of God, how can we deny to others any measure of the grace we so desperately desire for ourselves? My beloved brothers and sisters, should we not forgive as we wish to be forgiven?

Yes I had to do what Pres. Uchtdorf said and stop it.  I had to make the choice to stop thinking about being molested and I had to stop letting it affect my life.  I had a choice, to be unhappy or happy, I choose to be happy and forgive.

I hope that you will make the choice, choose to be happy and forgive.  It is hard but through the atonement of the Savior all things are possible.

Happy Mother's Day

This is my mom, she has taught me so much. Love you mom.

I love being a mom.  I remember growing up and all my friends saying when I grow up I want to be…a teacher, a nurse, a doctor, a vet…etc.  But all I ever wanted to be was a mom; I never wanted to be anything else.  I am grateful every day to be able to stay at home and be a mom.

It not always easy to be a mom, I remember the days when my kids were young and the days just seemed to blend together.  It was the same tasks day after day and the same phrases day after day.  Wipe noses, change diapers, feed kids, plan an activity, and fix meals, clean house, and grocery shop.   And somewhere in between teach: be nice, say thank you, say please, help mommy clean up, be mommies super helper, use your words not your hands.

Now my kids are older and my oldest son is about to leave on a mission for two years for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I am so grateful for those days that I got to share with him and the rest of my kids.  They are growing up so quickly. I love being a mom!

You can recognize women who are grateful to be a daughter of God by their reverence for motherhood, even when that blessing has been withheld from them for a time. In those circumstances, their righteous influence can be a blessing in the lives of children they love. Their exemplary teachings can echo the voice of a faithful home and resonate truth in the hearts of children who need another witness.

Grateful daughters of God love Him and teach their children to love Him without reservation and without resentment. They are like the mothers of Helaman’s youthful army, who had such great faith and “had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them” (Alma 56:47).

When you observe kind and gentle mothers in action, you see women of great strength. Their families can feel a spirit of love and respect and safety when they are near her as she seeks the companionship of the Holy Ghost and the guidance of His Spirit. They are blessed by her wisdom and good judgment. The husbands and children, whose lives they bless, will contribute to the stability of societies all over this world. Grateful daughters of God learn truths from their mothers and grandmothers and aunts. They teach their daughters the joyful art of creating a home. They seek fine educations for their children and have a thirst for knowledge themselves. They help their children develop skills that they can use in serving others. They know that the way they have chosen is not the easy way, but they know it is absolutely worth their finest efforts.

They understand what Elder Neal A. Maxwell meant when he said: “When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?”

Daughters of God know that it is the nurturing nature of women that can bring everlasting blessings, and they live to cultivate this divine attribute. Surely when a woman reverences motherhood, her children will arise up and call her blessed (see Prov. 31:28) Margaret D. Nadauld, Oct. 2000 General Conference

Happy Mother’s Day!

Families are Forever

I have always had a love for family history, but I have never produced a family file name. However, I have participated in family history in other ways.

When I was young I lived close to both sets of my grandparents and to 3 sets of my great grandparents, and got many opportunities to visit with them on regular basis. I loved to hear them tell stories of when they were younger.

Growing up every summer my family would go to one of two family reunions, there I also loved to listen to my great aunts and uncles and older cousins tell family stories.  You can learn a lot when you sit and listen to others tell their stories.  Also through these family reunions I got to know my second and third cousins and we became good friends.  

Elder Nielson said “We have a natural yearning to connect with our ancestors. When our hearts turn to our ancestors, something changes inside us.  We feel a part of something greater than ourselves.  Our inborn yearnings for family connections are fulfilled when we are linked to our ancestors…” end quote

When I turned twelve I had a great aunt who was very involved in researching family names and getting them ready for the temple.  I would go to the St. George temple with my dad, siblings, and cousins every other Saturday for four years to do baptisms for our ancestors.  We did thousands of names.  I gained several things from this experience.

First – I learned that my dad had a testimony of temple work and that he believed that families are forever.

Second- As I would stand in the font and be baptized for hundreds of ancestors over the years I could feel the excitement of those I was being baptized for.   I gained my own testimony of temple work and that families are forever. 

Third- It got me in the habit of regularly attending the temple and that has carried with me into my adult life.

Another way that I have been able to participate in family history is by reading stories of my ancestors. I’m lucky enough that when I google the name of one of my ancestors I can usually find a brief history and a picture of them. By reading their stories of conversion and the sacrifices that they made so that I can have the gospel it causes me to have the desire to keep my covenants and to continue to press forward with faith.  I do not want to be the weak link in my family chain.

 Elder Haight said “I would hope and pray that in our own families, all of us, that we would have a desire to be a strong link in our own family chain, in our posterity, so that the eternal blessings that are part of the gospel, the blessings of the temple and the eternities, will be taught to our families in such a way that they will go on and on forever to affect many, many people. Be sure that those links are strong in your chain and that you pass the testimony that you have, the devotion that you have to future generations.” End quote.

Then, last October with the push to do temple work, my son Christopher was able to find close to 200 names for our family to do.  I am grateful for the opportunity to once again to do family names.  I love performing the scared temple work for my ancestors. I am grateful for the peace I feel to that comes with the knowledge that I am linking my family together through the eternities. Elder Christofferson said “The vicarious ordinances we perform in temples, beginning with baptism, make possible an eternal welding link between generations that fulfills the purpose of the earth’s creation. Without this, “the whole earth would be utterly wasted at [Christ’s] coming.” Close quote.

On lds.org it list nine ways that we can participate in Family history and I added a few extra.

Interview family members, write and share their stories

Take and share photos                 

Prepare names to take to the temple

Indexing

Start a family blog

Create a digital scrap book of your ancestors

Create a scrap book for yourself and for your family

Plan and attend Family reunions

Learn the stories of your ancestors

Print your family fan chart

Help others with their family history whether it’s by teaching them to search names or helping them with temple work

Journaling.

Elder Cook in this last conference said “The doctrine of the family in relation to family history and temple work is clear. The Lord in initial revelatory instructions referred to “baptism for your dead.” Our doctrinal obligation is to our own ancestors. This is because the celestial organization of heaven is based on families. The First Presidency has encouraged members, especially youth and young single adults, to emphasize family history work and ordinances for their own family… We need to be connected to both our roots and branches… Don’t underestimate the influence of the deceased in assisting your efforts and the joy of ultimately meeting those you serve. The eternally significant blessing of uniting our own families is almost beyond comprehension.

Elder Bednar and Elder Scott have promised the following blessings you can receive if you will participate in Family History.

Your conversion to the Savior will become deeper

You will receive light and knowledge through the Holy Ghost

Your testimonies will be strengthened

Your patriarchal blessing will become more meaningful

Your Love and gratitude for your ancestors will grow

You will receive greater opportunities to serve

And your Service in the temple will become more sacred.

I can testify that these promises are true, for I have received or have felt each of these blessing in my life as I have participated in family history throughout my life. I would like to bare my testimony that I know that our Savior lives, and I am grateful for my knowledge that families are forever.   In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Finging Joy in the Journey

Last week my husband planned a hike for our whole family to go on including our three small dogs.  The hike had high reviews and said it was great for dogs.

 My husband told us that we would be hiking next to a small river, doing some boulder hoping and seeing a beautiful water fall. We were all excited for this hike.  

 So we loaded up the kids and the dogs and water and a snack for the trail and drove the 45 minutes to our destination.   When we got to our destination we loaded up the back pack with our gear, which I wore, not that my husband didn’t offer to carry the back pack a dozen times, but I wanted to carry the back pack and so I did. We headed off onto our great adventure with enthusiasm and a vision of a great hike. 

We hiked along this dirt road for about a ½ mile, with my kids and me questioning my husband judgment of a great hike.  “Are you sure we are going in the right direction?”  And “are you sure this is going to be a great hike.”, “I don’t see any water”; we teased our dad.  Finally after a ½ mile we came to a small stream, was this river that was supposed to be so great?  Patience was my husband replied   

So we kept on hiking.  During the hike we came to different obstacles along the trail like over a thin pipe near and edge of the river, over logs, and many stepping stones back and forth through the river, climbing steep in embankments, climbing over and through narly tree root.   To maneuver through these obstacles one of use would find the best path and help the others to cross, or we would discuss as a family which was the best path to take.  And at times one would want to take a different path than all of us, sometimes it was better and sometimes it was worse.   As I was hiking with my family and enjoying the banter that goes on in our family it got me thinking about our life’s journey here on earth.  

We are placed into families to help each other through hard things in life.  Sometimes we need to let other lead out and guide us through difficult times.  Even as parents, sometimes we need to let our children lead and rely upon their wisdom. Sometimes we are too close to the problem that we can’t see the best path to take. But if we seek council from our family members and if we can be patient with each other and work as a team our families can do hard things. 

As I mentioned earlier, I chose to carry the back pack, at times it was awkward or even difficult to maneuver through these difficult obstacles that nature placed in our way.  My husband and children offered to carry the back pack for a bit, and they were even willing to just to hold it while I was in the midst of an obstacle, but I was stubborn and wouldn’t let them help.  Like the back pack, sometimes we carry heavy burdens, for example:  poor choices we made, guilt, illnesses, pressures of life and sometimes it’s just life experiences that way us down.   When we are carrying heavy burdens we need to allow others to serve us and help us out, we don’t need to carry burdens alone. The most important thing that we can do is place our burden at our Saviors feet and trust in the atonement.  For our Savior taught: Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light, (New Testament Mathew 11: 28-30)

This hike was not what I had envisioned and at times it was difficult and hard to maneuver, but I had fun.  I found joy just being there with my family and enjoying the beauty around me. Just like in life

Sometimes in life we can get caught up with the woe is me … I can’t wait until…., or when…,

President Monson gave a talk in October 2008 General Conference that changed my life, entitled "Finding Joy in the Journey"

I still had young kids at home and was not content with home life as it was then I heard this talk and realized I had to change.

I would like to share a few quotes from his Talk.

“This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.

If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of we hat is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.”  We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.

Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.

Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings.

Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed."

I hope that you will take the chance to Find Joy in your Journey Today.

Patience and Faith

My oldest son has had a difficult two weeks.  It seemed like the world was against him and everything is his life was going against him.  Which was making him very frustrated and angry and very hard to live with.

Then earlier this week we got discussing Job from the Old Testament.  Here is pour Job, life was going great; his family was doing well, he was respected by his friends, and he was prospering.  Then one day Job wakes up and his children are a killed, his crops and animals have been burned or taken.  He gets nasty sores that are painful.   And his wife and friends leave him.

Yet through it all Job never curses God, he never stops praying, he never has self-pity and wonders “Why Me”.

My son and I discussed that when we are in the midst of our trails we have the option on how we behave.  We can be angry and curse God, hate the world, and take our frustrations out on those around us.  Or we can be like Job, and bear our burdens and endure our trails with patience and faith.  We know that God does good things for his children; suffering must benefit a person in some way.  And it may take years or a life time to see the benefits of certain trails.

In my reading this week I came across this thought from Emily Freeman’s book

 Written on Our Hearts,which lifted my spirits “Become a Possibilitarian.  No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities-always see them for they’re always there….When you combine courage and strength with the companionship of the Lord, you can expect miracles-possibilities beyond your exceptions….Find courage. Gather Strength.  Allow the Lord to be with you wherever you go.  Then prepare to experience wonders.  Greet each day with an enthusiastic welcome no matter how it looks.

This quote was what I needed this week.  Sometimes the miracle that comes is the patients to endure the trail and faith that the Lord will strengthen us.  

This clip doesn't necessarily go with my thought, but the song "Abide with Me" usually runs through my head when I am going through a trail.

Happy 36th Birthday

Last week I celebrated by 36th birthday.  I really wanted to do something like I had last year.  So I decided I was going to serve 36 people in 36 hours.  Unfortunately that did not happen.  So instead I wrote 36 thank you cards to 36 different people.  Some were neighbors, teachers of my children, my husband, parents, children, etc.  It was great to be able to say "Thank You", we just get so busy in our every day lives that we forget.  And it seems that writing a note is a dying gesture.  It wasn't as amazing as last years birthday, but it still made for a great day.

For the recipe for the cake above you can find it on my other blog Little Delights Cafe, its the Chocolate Mousse Cake.

Happy 35th Birthday

Last year I did the most amazing thing for my birthday; it still bring tears to my eyes when I think about it.  I wanted to do something really special to celebrate half way to 40 ( :-( )
To celebrate I decided to make 35 cupcakes and write 35 cards to 35 different people.  To each of those 35 people I wrote one thing that I had learned from them that influenced my life for good.

I made sure that I handed the cupcake and the card to them, and told then to have a happy day.

My note went something like this...

Today I am turning 35, and to celebrate I am telling 35 different people thank you for being and influence for good in my life.  From you I learned...  ...Thank you for helping me to become a better person.

That night when I sat down for my birthday dinner I felt overwhelmed with gratitude; the Lord had blessed me with some amazing examples in my life.

If you do not look forward to your birthday and find that it's not your favorite day, I suggest that you do something like this.  It will be the best birthday you ever had!

You can find the recipe for this cup cake on my other blog.  Little Delights Cafe, its the raspberry lemonade cupcake.