Last week I celebrated by 36th birthday. I really wanted to do something like I had last year. So I decided I was going to serve 36 people in 36 hours. Unfortunately that did not happen. So instead I wrote 36 thank you cards to 36 different people. Some were neighbors, teachers of my children, my husband, parents, children, etc. It was great to be able to say "Thank You", we just get so busy in our every day lives that we forget. And it seems that writing a note is a dying gesture. It wasn't as amazing as last years birthday, but it still made for a great day.
For the recipe for the cake above you can find it on my other blog Little Delights Cafe, its the Chocolate Mousse Cake.
Last year I did the most amazing thing for my birthday; it still bring tears to my eyes when I think about it. I wanted to do something really special to celebrate half way to 40 ( :-( )
To celebrate I decided to make 35 cupcakes and write 35 cards to 35 different people. To each of those 35 people I wrote one thing that I had learned from them that influenced my life for good.
I made sure that I handed the cupcake and the card to them, and told then to have a happy day.
My note went something like this...
Today I am turning 35, and to celebrate I am telling 35 different people thank you for being and influence for good in my life. From you I learned... ...Thank you for helping me to become a better person.
That night when I sat down for my birthday dinner I felt overwhelmed with gratitude; the Lord had blessed me with some amazing examples in my life.
If you do not look forward to your birthday and find that it's not your favorite day, I suggest that you do something like this. It will be the best birthday you ever had!
You can find the recipe for this cup cake on my other blog. Little Delights Cafe, its the raspberry lemonade cupcake.
This week has been a week full of service. It started out by making cupcakes for a family in our neighborhood whose father had passed away and serving the family dinner. The next two days I spent serving the sisters in my ward through my church calling. Then it was teacher appreciation week at our elementary school, and I was privileged enough to be able to make 2 meals for the teachers at school. I love to serve; it brings me such great joy.
As I have been studying what I could share about service that would inspire others to go out and serve, I found it interesting that there are several types of service. There is being kind to others, service in our church callings, temple service, service in our families, missionary service, community service, just to name a few. I also found it interesting that as I was studying conference talks about service that service was most usually paired with another gospel principle.
In the Book of Mormon in Mosiah 2:17 we read, "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom, that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow being ye are in the service of your God"
Becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ- "As we obey His commandments and serve our fellowmen, we become better disciples of Jesus Christ" (Becoming a True Disciple- Elder Daniel L. Johnson)
Becoming Whole- "Be assured the Savior still seeks to mend our souls and heal our hearts. He waits at the door and knocks. Let us answer by beginning again to pray, repent, forgive and forget. Let us love God and serve our neighbor and stand in holy places with a life made clean". (Wilt Thou Be Made Whole?- Elder Timothy J. Dyches) Withstanding the Temptations- "Fill your life with service to others. As you lose your life in the service of Father in Heaven's children, Satan's temptations lose power in your life." (Personal Strength Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ"- Elder Richard G. Scott)
"I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in the service of others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish-and in effect save their lives."- (Thomas S Monson)
I know that as I have served those around me, my life has been blessed in many way. To just name a few: I have learned to love those around me, look for the good in others, my life is full of joy, and I have gained a stronger testimony of our Savior.
"We are surrounded by those that are in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness....We are the Lord's hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependant upon each of us." (First Observe, then Serve - Linda K. Burton)
I hope that you will take the chance to look around you each day and find at least one person to serve.
For the recipe for the cupcake in this blog, you can find it on my other blog Little Delights Cafe, it the lemon cupcake.
Today I was at a Women's Conference and one of the talks referenced this story in the New Testament, and it got me thinking.
And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians and could not be healed.
For she said within herself, If I may but touch His garment, I shall be made whole.
And straightway the fountain of blood was dried up; and she felt her body that she was healed of that plague.
And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned Him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes?
And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.
And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made the whole; go in peace
New Testament Matt 9:20-21, Mark 5:25-29, Luke 8:43-48
Here in this story this woman is struggling with health and she has tried all that she could do to be healed. Then with her simple faith, she decides that she will simply touch the garment of our Savior, and has faith that she will be healed.
Just like the woman in this scripture story, all of us have many struggles and heart aches. I know in my own life I have had my own struggles and heart ache I got pregnant at a young age, was molested by a family member, had a miscarriage, had a hard pregnancy, had a premature baby, and debilitating shyness, my list can go on and on just like yours.
Like this great woman, we need to have the faith to reach out to the Savior and have faith that he will heal us. How can we reach out to the Savior? We can read our scriptures, sincerely pray, fast, attend the temple. I think the most important thing we can do is have faith that we will heal us, because faith leads into hope and hope can lead us to act.
One of my favorite chapters in the Book of Mormon is about faith and hope. I would encourage you to read it if you have time. It is Ether 12, in the Book of Mormon.
One of my favorite versus from this chapter is verse 4:
Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world...which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast...
I love this scripture because to me it says he that believes in God, has hope for a better day. And when we are in the midst of struggle and heart ache do we not hope for a better day? We will find that better day through our faith that is anchored in Jesus Christ.
I know that if you will turn your struggles and heart ache to the Lord, he will make them lighter.
I hope you will take the chance to reach out to our Savior Jesus Christ and allow Him to touch your life. I will close with this Mormon Message
My oldest daughter is at that stage of life where she has discovered that there are boys on this planet and she is wanting to be their friend and wants to impress them. I find it interesting that she has decided that to impress them she needs to be like them. So she dresses more in jeans and t-shirts, boys shoes, and boys hats. She has started to be a little more rough around the edges. What I mean by that is she's trying to be tougher; we know how boys are, they throw a few punches, do a little wrestling and call it friendship. That's how she thinks she needs to act to be accepted by the boys that all of the sudden have appeared in her world. I'm sure in a few years that she will probably think that it's her sexuality that will allow her to be accepted by the boys I know that I went through simualar phases in my life. What about you, did you go through any of these phases?
Margaret D. Nadauld, former young womens general president taught: "The world has enough women that are tough; we need women that are tender. There are enough women that are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fortune and fame; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity." (The Moral Force of Women)
How do we teach our girls that's okay to be tender, kind, refined, to be good, to have virtue, faith and purity?
As I have been pondering this I have decided that through my own personal experinces there were three key things that allowed me to choose to try to be the things that Maragert D. Nadauld encourages us to become.
I think one of the keys is guidance and direction. My parents did not pick very many battles with us as kids, but the battles they did choose they did not waver on. My parents believed in wholesome and modest dress and language. They believed the way we dressesd and the way we spoke would help determine how we would act. Of course we as teenagers tried to challenge them, but they were clear that they would not wavier.
I think the second key is that our girls need the women that are around them to exemplify these attributes. Growing up I had many great women that were examples to me, aunts, young women leaders, grandmas, and of course my mom.
I have seen all of these women go though hard things: death of a husband, failed marriages, unfaithful husbands, death of childern, children with disablities, teenagers, bad health, husbands with health issues, loss of jobs, and the list could go on and on. And through it all, these women have not allowed their circumstances to make them become tough, coarse, or rude. But I believe that through their individual challenges they have chosen be stronger and have more compassion and they have become women of faith.
I think the third key is that when the opportunity arises we need to let our daughters know that it's okay to be feminine and to encourage them to develop these attributes: kindness, tenderness, refinement, goodness, virtue and purity.
I am grateful for the examples in my life and the guideance that my parents gave me that has helped shape the woman I am today. I love the scriptures found in Proverbs 31: 10,20,25,26,27, and 30. These scriptures also give us direction on the kind of women we should strive to be.
I hope that we will take the chance to stand out in the world and be a different kind of women then the world would want us to be. And I hope that we will take the chance to encourage our daughters to do the same.
The other day my husband was at work and walked in on a conversation between some women. They were comparing stories trying to decide who had the biggest jerk of a husband, and then the subject changed to how vindictive they could be to their husbands.
My husband was shocked. He came home and asked if I did the same thing when I got together with my friends. I'm grateful that I could say that I didn't.
So that you don't think that I have always have had a great marriage here is a little background on me in a nutshell.
My husband and I met when I was in the 9th grade and he in the 10th grade, and dated through high school. I ended up getting pregnant at the end of my junior year. We decided to get married. After we got married we decided that we had not much in common. About three months into our marriage we were struggling, after a small argument we looked and each other and asked ourselves if we really wanted to be married. The answer was yes!
We decided then and there that we would commit to our marriage and would do what we needed to do to strengthen it. Sometime after this I was talking with some women and was doing the same thing as the women above were doing. On the way home I was thinking to myself about the conversation I had had with my friends and I thought to myself " I wonder if my husband talks about me with his friends or co-workers. And does he say mean things about me? I realized then that if I didn't want my husband talking about me in mean way, I better not be talking about him. I also wasn't living up to my commitment to my husband about making our marriage work. I was focusing on those things that bugged me instead of focusing on those qualities that I did enjoy.
I love this quote from Marjorie P. Hinkley "We loved each other; there was no doubt about that, but we also had to get used to each other. I think every couple had to get use to each other. Early on I realized that it would be better if we worked harder to get used to each other than constantly try to change each other" (Church News, 26 Sept. 1998)
Gordon B. Hinckley Said:"Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but, rather with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibilities and aspirations he or she might have" ("I Believe", Ensign, Aug. 1992).
Of course we still had our difference of opinion and funny corks, which we still do, but thats part of marriage.
If you have sometime make a list of your characteristics and abilities and then a list of your spouses characteristics and abilities.
Now:
1- In what ways can the characteristics and abilities that you have listed help you as a couple be unified
2- In what ways have you seen your differences become strengths?.
At my wedding my dad gave me two hearts that were welded together by my grandpa. My dad said something along this line
" These two hearts were separate at one time, but with much heat and work these two hearts have come together, and are harder to break apart. They also don't look like much; they are a little rusty, not very smooth, and not very beautiful to look at. Like the hearts you and your husband are two separate people and with much work and patience and facing difficulties together we as a couple would become like the heart and be welded together. And it is up to us, if we wanted to keep our marriage rusty, or do we want to take the time to make our marriage beautiful. It was up to us.
These two hearts hang in my bedroom as a reminder to both me and my husband that we will face difficulties and its ok because it will make us stronger. And its up to us to make our marriage beautiful, by learning how to communicate, learning to love our differences and using our strengths.
I hope you will take the chance to do make the change in you.
