A Woman of a Different Kind

My oldest daughter is at that stage of life where she has discovered that there are boys on this planet and she is wanting to be their friend and wants to impress them.  I find it interesting that she has decided that to impress them she needs to be like them.  So she dresses more in jeans and t-shirts, boys shoes, and boys hats. She has started to be a little more rough around the edges.  What I mean by that is she's trying to be tougher; we know how boys are, they throw a few punches, do a little wrestling and call it friendship. That's how she thinks she needs to act to be accepted by the boys that all of the sudden have appeared in her world.  I'm sure in a few years that she will probably think that it's her sexuality that will allow her to be accepted by the boys  I know that I went through simualar phases in my life.  What about you, did you go through any of these phases?

Margaret D. Nadauld, former young womens general president taught: "The world has enough women that are tough; we need women that are tender.  There are enough women that are coarse; we need women who are kind.  There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.  We have enough women of fortune and fame; we need more women of faith.  We have enough greed; we need more goodness.  We have enough vanity; we need more virtue.  We have enough popularity; we need more purity." (The Moral Force of Women)

How do we teach our girls that's okay to be tender, kind, refined, to be good, to have virtue, faith and purity?

As I have been pondering this I have decided that through my own personal experinces there were three key things that allowed me to choose to try to be the things that Maragert D. Nadauld encourages us to become.

I think one of the keys is guidance and direction.  My parents did not pick very many battles with us as kids, but the battles they did choose they did not waver on.  My parents believed in wholesome and modest dress and language.  They believed the way we dressesd and the way we spoke would help determine how we would act.  Of course we as teenagers tried to challenge them,  but they were clear that they would not wavier.

I think the second key is that our girls need the women that are around them to exemplify these attributes.  Growing up I had many great women that were examples to me, aunts, young women leaders, grandmas, and of course my mom.

I have seen all of these women go though hard things: death of a husband, failed marriages, unfaithful husbands, death of childern, children with disablities, teenagers, bad health, husbands with health issues, loss of jobs, and the list could go on and on.  And through it all,  these women have not allowed their circumstances to make them become tough, coarse, or rude.  But I believe that through their individual challenges they have chosen be stronger and have more compassion and they have become women of faith.

I think the third key is that when the opportunity arises we need to let our daughters know that it's okay to be feminine and to encourage them to develop these attributes:  kindness, tenderness, refinement, goodness, virtue and purity.

I am grateful for the examples in my life and the guideance that my parents gave me that has helped shape the woman I am today. I love the scriptures found in Proverbs 31: 10,20,25,26,27, and 30. These scriptures also give us direction on the kind of women we should strive to be.

I hope that we will take the chance to stand out in the world and be a different kind of women then the world would want us to be.  And I hope that we will take the chance to encourage our daughters to do the same.